There is a quote by Pastor Steven Furtick that explains almost all modern unhappiness:
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
Social media has weaponized this tendency.
When you scroll through Instagram or LinkedIn, you are not seeing reality. You are seeing a movie trailer.
- You see the vacation photo (but not the argument the couple had 5 minutes before).
- You see the “I launched my startup!” post (but not the 3 years of depression and debt).
- You see the six-pack abs (but not the dehydration and lighting tricks used to get the shot).
You, on the other hand, know your reality intimately.
You know you woke up late. You know you feel bloated. You know you are worried about money.
The Comparison Trap:
You compare your Messy Truth vs. their Polished Fiction.
Of course you feel like a loser. You are playing a game that is rigged against you.
The Curated Lie
Nobody posts their failures.
- Nobody posts a selfie of themselves crying on the bathroom floor.
- Nobody posts a screenshot of their rejected bank loan application.
- Nobody posts the “fight” where they screamed at their kids.
We curate our lives to signal status. We want to look rich, happy, and successful. This is human nature.
But when you consume this content for hours a day, your brain starts to believe that everyone else is happy and successful, and you are the only one struggling.
This is a distortion of reality.
Everyone is struggling. Everyone is insecure. Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. The person with the perfect Instagram feed is often the most lonely person in the room.
The “envy” Algorithm
Social media platforms know that envy drives engagement.
If you feel inadequate, you buy things. You click things. You strive.
The algorithm is designed to show you people who have slightly more than you.
- If you like fitness, it shows you people with better bodies.
- If you like business, it shows you 20-year-old millionaires.
It keeps the carrot just out of reach so you keep running on the hamster wheel.
How to Opt Out
You cannot stop people from posting fake perfection. But you can stop consuming it.
1. The “Mute” Button is Your Best Friend
You don’t have to unfollow your successful friends (that might be awkward). But you can Mute them.
If seeing someone’s posts makes you feel jealous, insecure, or “less than” mute them immediately. protect your peace.
2. Follow Reality
Curate your feed to include people who are vulnerable. Follow accounts that talk about failure, struggle, and the messy parts of life. Balance the input.
3. Catch the Thought
When you feel that pang of jealousy, stop and say to yourself:
“I am seeing 1% of their life. I don’t know the other 99%.”
Remind yourself that you wouldn’t trade your entire life for theirs—because you don’t know the hidden costs they are paying.
The Verdict
The only person you should compare yourself to is who you were yesterday.
If you are making progress compared to your past self, you are winning.
If you are comparing yourself to a stranger on the internet, you are losing.
Wake up. The screen is a mirror of distortions, not a window to the truth.
The Challenge:
Identify one account on social media that consistently makes you feel jealous or “not good enough.”
Unfollow or Mute them right now.
Do it. You won’t miss anything, and you will instantly feel lighter.